Okk dear so you had a breakup recently.. You dumped him, he dumped you or maybe things just didn't turn out that well. You both part ways, you return or burn the love letters, the gifts, this and that.. Tie the loose ends and yeahhh move on for good or for worse.
If it were the 90's or early of this 21st century you'd just hear a couple of months/years years later that your ex is getting married or for that matter you are getting married and that last little hope of reunion dies and is burnt to ashes.
But not now.. No way can you have the happy breakup forever. There's this new social order and everybody's connected with The Social Network.. The default social networking site of the world- facebook. Now you are joined with umbilical cords with everyone on your friend list and you see/hear/digest/listen to what everybody is up to unless ofcrs you hide him.
Now if as a girl you broke up with your boyfriend. And after a few days after your relationship status has been changed to "single" and your DP now shows only you instead of both of you (god forbid lady if you're one of those who puts gross gloomy and dark pictures of broken heart dipped in raw blood) you'll realise after a little while your pictures disappearing from his facebook profile and then poof! one day you open your ex's profile and you see the most dreaded words of modern relationship:
"Add As a Friend"
He has done the unforgivable crime one can ever concieve of. If Jesus lived now this would be the 8th sin. He could have Bitched about to the world (including your best friends) or bragged about the times you guys made out even though you never let him touch. That was still acceptable. But unfriending on facebook??? How heartless could a guy be?
"He's made of stone, Good I broke ip with him."
Here's your childhood friend calling you.. Here's your cousins and sisters calling.. They are not on your ex's facebook friend list anymore..
"This is war. He cheated on me.. That's ok. He lied to me.. That's ok. He deleted me and my clan from his fb account. I'll keep a 45 day fast and pray that his soul burns in hell."
"In fact i'll burn him alive, skin him and chop him while he's still screaming and cook his flesh into neat tikkas and feed it to the dogs and crocs."
So your ex deleted you from his fb friend list because he is heartless, insensitive, he hates you and in all probability is already seeing some other bitch who made him do this. Right?
Wrong.
He deleted you for he's obsessing over you. He can't get over you. He spends all his time watching over you cuz deep inside he really cares and no matter what is still concerned about you, worried about you.
He's like a giant oil tanker at sea filled with thousands of tons of inflammable material doing it's best to avoid by any means necessary even a tiny spark.. Which can burn the whole tanker to ashes in a matter of minutes.
He's checking all your updates even the pages you are liking, the comments you are posting on other's profile. If any special guy is commenting too often on your posts and pics( believe me guys can pick on such hunter guys in a matter of seconds because in our clan we have tried it all at all stages and we know in a matter of seconds what a guy is saying and what his real intentions are). He's loading that latest album of yours again and again deducing about you like a scientist researching on a cell under a microscope.
Every little activity from you is a like a spark for this oil-tanker-ex of yours. Admit it as a fact or better as a gospel truth when girls "move on" from a relationship they move on utterly and completely leaving no trace behind and with no "carry over" extra-baggage. With guys it's a different story they'll move on rather seem to move on at an express speed with no remorse but as the reality of the break-up seeps in they are back to square one on emotional snake and ladders.
So your ex all he does is online now is researching about you like a PhD thesis. Monitoring your life even though he is no longer a part of your life's equation or your decision making matrix. He's just standing there as a witness silently weeping, cheering or applausing you. But he knows Devdas and DevD are good book/movie concepts but in real life they have disasterous consequences on his friendships, career, peace of mind and on top of it all- his sanity. On fb everything reminds him of you. You, your friends, your family everyone and everything.. And that's when he takes the biggest step.
You and your clan are out of his fb list. This isn't revenge or an insult i'll call it "self-preservation" or his "self-insurance" against insanity. And then he decides that everything that triggers that thought chain or that spark of thought of you has to be taken care of. They have to be put "out of sight-out of mind" and then you are blocked. So in his mind, in his mental univerce you don't exist. You cease to be. He knows he's a ticking time bomb and he's just doing what his damaged mind and broken heart tells him to be the correct course of action.
Don't judge him. Understand him.
Foryou the facebook friend deletion was the ultimate insult the height of his egoist masochism. No believe me it wasn't. Neither can he be friends with you now nor can he reduce himself to a witness of your success or sorrows. He needs to get out and get out ASAP so faster can he recover and heal the unseen wounds.
"Why my friends and family then?" You ask.
If you were a guy you'd understand. It was never your friends or family it was just you extended. He loved them because you admired them.
He shows he doesnt care but the fact is he still does and way too much.
The thing about ships and relationships is that sometimes all it takes is a single hit and both of them go sinking to the bottom.
